Thursday, May 7, 2015

"So, are you going to try for a girl?"


I get it at the grocery store, the park, school, and even 5 seconds after I've pushed out a child (true story.)

"So...are you going to try for a girl?"

I usually don't mind the question.  I know that most people don't know what to say in a conversation, and that seeing a whole bunch of cute boys in one family makes them want to ask. I also know that it doesn't just apply to boy families.  I have a friends with 3 adorable girls, and she gets the "so, will you be trying for a boy" question all the time, too.

Usually I just say, "haha...no, I think we're good!" and move on with it, but something last week made me want to change my answer.

A lady said, "Wow! 3 boys!"...and then on cue said, "so are you going to try for your girl?" Charlie wrapped his arm around my leg right after she asked, and maybe it was a just because arm wrap, but it made me think about that question differently.

I don't want my boys, or anyone else for that matter, thinking that my life is missing something because I don't have a daughter.  If I were supposed to have a daughter, I would've had a daughter!  Charlie, Walker, and Crew need to know that they are exactly what I need in my life, and that Heavenly Father thinks the same thing.  

If you have all girls, that's what you need.  If you have a mix, that's what you need.

I need 3 boys! Which is so funny thinking about how my life was filled with tutus and high ballet buns before them. :)  But now...

I've read "Even Droids Need Friends" to Charlie more times than I can count.  PS. HOW is that even a book?  

I've panicked and run outside to put water on a worm after Walker woke up in the middle of the night, afraid that his pet worm was going to be eaten by a bird. 

I've thrown a football with, and sometimes at ("if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball"...amiright?!), the boys trying to teach them how to catch.

I've taken the boys to ballets, musicals, and movies because I'm paranoid they're going to get to school and not know the story of The Nutcracker.  

I've answered the door in the afternoon, and pretty much every time have boys run out in their underwear to the front yard.  

I'm trying to teach these boys of mine to stand up for themselves and for what they believe in, and want them to know that I will always be their safe place.

I love hearing them chant, "Ma-mee! Ma-mee!", when they see me in a "pretty dress" (which totally makes up for them asking me if I still have a baby in my belly.  I appreciate that, boys.)

I could not be more excited and honored to be these boys' mommy.  I enjoy it so much.

So....back to my change of answer to that question I'm sure I will get a thousand more times.

"Nope!  I'm happy with my sweet boys!"

12 comments :

Ash said...

I love this! Growing up with three sisters meant I longed for a brother :) but I can't imagine our family any other way. And people keep asking me if I want a boy or a girl (kinda want a boy, honestly!) but I realize that it doesn't matter a bit one way or the other because I'll be thrilled with what we get! You're such a good mommy, by the way. ;)

Heather said...

That is the perfect attitude! I feel the same way with my two boys. I love them and feel like they are exactly what I need. I thought I'd have girls to put tights on and braid the hair of, but these boys have taught me so much. What you said was so beautiful. You are not lacking because of only boys. My life is so full!

MONICA'S NOTEBOOK said...

I LOVE this post more than anything!!!! My husband and I are thinking about trying soon and I ALWAYS here, do you want a boy or girl?! Goodness, I just want what the Lord gives me and knows I can handle!!

Happy Mothers Day!!!

http://GetsSweeterWithTime.blogspot.com

Kayla MKOY said...

Ashley, this is by far one of my favorite posts you've ever written! I absolutely love your heart! Your boys were MEANT for you, and you for them! :) I'm so happy you're happy. to those boys, you are the world :)

Fairy Princess Jord said...

I think it is so weird when people ask questions like that (though I think you're right when you noted that they just are filling conversation). You can't TRY for a boy or girl...you have no say in the matter. You could keep "trying" your whole life and have 12 sons, it isn't a matter of trying. I always have thought it would be fun to have a daughter because I am such a girly girl and have so much fun playing dress up with princess outfits and having tea parties with china sets however my 7 year old brother has taught me how much I love little boys too. At the end of the day it isn't about the gender it's about love and the familial relationship. I think little girls are SO much fun, but I can't think of a child whose eyes melt my heart more than my little brother.

Just Jaime said...

Amen, amen, amen! From a family of 4 girls and my parents never made me like something was missing. Glad to hear it in other families

Saimi said...

I can appreciate your post - I'm the mother of son's and remember when my youngest was still a newborn. A lady came up and asked me if I was going to try for a girl - and I was thinking, lady I'm not going to try for anything right now. I had two toddlers and a newborn, trying for another baby was not in the near future. haha

Besides, I liked having boys. I believe if we kept going we would have had a whole bushel of boys. My husband has a male dominate gene in his blood line. My oldest son has twin boys.

Tara Illy said...

This is just beautiful and you are exactly what those boys need! Some day there's going to be a girl who's going to capture their hearts and be so thankful that their momma showed them how to love a lady and treat her right. xo

Chelsea Mac said...

Love this post and those sweet boys of yours! They are so lucky to have a mama like you to guard their happiness (and you are equally lucky to have them). Also, I am relieved we haven't found the droid book; though I suspect it is a matter of time.

Chelsea
Haute Child in the City

Tayler Morrell said...

So cute! My SIL has 3 boys, too, and is as content as can be!

Lins - Domesticated Working Woman said...

Amen! I have 1 boy for now, but I'm totally okay if all I ever have is boys. God definitely knows what He is doing.

rooth said...

As you should be - those boys of yours are the most darling things ever

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