Friday, April 26, 2013

9 ways to raise a southern gentleman


I think of one of the main reasons I've been chosen to be a "boy mom" is so I can teach them to be Southern gentlemen.  Here's a go-to guide that I've put together to help us boy moms out a bit.
  
1.  Teach him to have confidence

Give him opportunities to learn new things;  let him find something that he really loves to do, and that he's really good at.  Be his biggest supporter during successful moments and through difficult times.  

2.  Teach him to respect women

Specifically, teach him how to interact with a woman.  Yes, sports are important, but he also needs to know about all the other stuff as well.  Because let's face it, we all want an awesome daughter in law.  So we have to teach him all the things that this awesome DIL will want in a man.  Of course there's the typical "ladies first", and hold the door open...all very important things.  But take him to the ballet so he can learn how to appreciate the arts and talk to him about what's going on in your life every now and then.  Take him on a mother/son date to teach him how to do these things.

3.  Teach him how to dress

When you dress better, you act better...at least I do!  I know that little boys could care less about what they wear, but getting them in the routine of wearing the appropriate attire for different occasions/places is important.

4.  Teach him to be involved

If you make extra cookies, take them to someone and explain to him what you're doing.  Have him hand them off to the person.  When appropriate, let him sit in on meetings...teach him how to act during them and let him know the reason behind the meeting.  (Mommy's planning a service project or working on a new curriculum...whatever it may be.)

5.  Teach him to be social

Children will model how you interact with other people, so be a good one and show him how to speak to people.  Teach him how to say hello and how to be engaged in a conversation.

6.  Teach him to be persistent

It takes a lot of work to reach your goals, so teach him that...and the importance of hard work in general.  

7.  Teach him how to use his manners

I know boys hate the idea of learning table manners, but it's important!!  I don't want them slurping their soup and using the wrong fork at a future business meeting.  Also, old fashioned or not....yes ma'ams and no sirs are still being taught...received slowly, but still being taught :-)

8.  Teach him to be strong in their religion

Take him to church so he learns how to have a personal relationship with his Savior.  Teach these things at home as well.  

9.  Teach him how to dance

(My boys lucked out in this department.)  Play music around the house and teach him how to keep beat.  No, but seriously.  When he's a little older teach him a few basic steps.  (You can YouTube it)  ;-)   If nothing else, knowing a few dance steps will help your son be more well-rounded.

So there you have it.  9 ways to raise a Southern Gentleman.  I hope I do a good job with mine.

Any additional suggestions on this topic?  Happy Friday!

41 comments :

Megan said...

Great post! I think too often boys are just taught to be "tough" and not be gentlemen. Most ladies appreciate a little toughness (it makes us feel safe), but want a gentleman for the day to day. I like how you added teaching them to appreciate the arts. I hope when we have kids we can live in a place that has plenty of opportunities for that.

Hailey LoveLaughterandLipstick said...

This is so true! I absolutely can't stand when people just brush off bad behavior with boys and say "He's just a boy" or "Thats a boy for you" or he may take longer to do things because "hes a boy". He is a child first, meaning he needs boundaries, second his priorities are so different than my daughters were, so yes he would much rather play with trucks or in the sink but I expect him to act a certain way. That goes for growing up as well. He already helps you up if you are sitting down and kisses any booboo you might get.
Sorry for the rant, but this is something I have been striving for a long time. When Ava was little, everyone told me I got "lucky" she was a girl, a boy wouldn't act that way. We will see in the long run, and I love number 9, we have dance parties all the time and Parker can get down with the rest of us!
Hailey @ Love, Laughter and Lipstick

Ginny said...

I love this, definitely things I'm trying to do with my son :)
Ginny

jess.walker said...

You're seriously the perfect mom. This has been one of my favorite blog posts to read! The boys definitely know how to dance and that will come in handy at Super Saturdays...haha

Lix Hewett said...

I like this list, but I'm not sure how you're doing #2... it comes across as though you think certain things are for girls and certain things are for boys. I think it's more important to teach a boy that women are not some other species, and let him figure out if he enjoys arts or anything like that for himself rather than because it's something a girl will appreciate in him in the future. It's not like every girl likes arts, or the same types of arts.

Really like the list, though, especially the emphasis on manners and respect. "boys will be boys" is such a tired argument.

Kristen said...

Yes, definitely one of my favorite posts! If I have boys, I also want to teach them how to plan... Plan ahead, plan out their day, plan dates. It is such a good skill to have that I think comes more naturally to girls, but it is definitely a quality of a Southern gentleman!

Kayla Peveler said...

#10. Have an awesome momma named Ashley who will raise you up perfectly!

:)

Emily said...

Charlie and Walker are going to be the definitions of Southern Gentlemen! I love that dancing was added because hello, important! ;)

Helene said...

agreed with kayla ^^^^
this is so sweet!

Rachel said...

Although I'm not from the South, I met a group of young boys from Georgia back in college. And I have to say that they were so sweet and refreshing compared to a lot of the people up here in NY. Their mothers obviously raised them well!

still being [molly] said...

i absolutely love this, ashley!! if i have a little boy, you know that i will be referencing this OFTEN!

TheTinyHeart said...

Love this post! Especially respecting women and having manners...SO important! I think it's amazing that you're taking the time to instill these things in your boys.

-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
$50 Target Giveaway!

Steph said...

Love it - such great tips! Exactly how I want my (soon to be) children to act!

Amy Shaughnessy said...

Well you KNOW I'm teaching my boys how to dance :) You saw my baby's cambre yesterday! What you didn't see was his plie in 2nd and his arabesque. Oh yeah. Maybe I will post those today!

Amy

Fashion and Beauty Finds

Talisha Reupena said...

I LOVE this! Being a boy mom is great and your 9 ways are perfect. It's very important in this day and age to teach our boys to uplift women as opposed to degrade! Thanks for sharing this. #9 is a daily thing, my boys and I dance all the time. Music is in their genes! Hope you have a great weekend Ashley!

lori said...

love this post!! is it bad that the biggest one im concerned with teaching my babies is #9? haha i may have to send them your way ;)

Daliene said...

These are all great! Your boys will be awesome men one day!

Sam M said...

I've never been to the south, so i'm going to rely on this if I end up having a boy.

Shaylynn... a girl, a story, a blog said...

teach him how to dance? my favorite.

rooth said...

Those are pretty good lessons that I'm sure all kiddos (girls and boys) can learn. I've got another one - teach him to take care of himself (chores are important). It's scary to see how many grown men don't know how to take care of themselves

B said...

i love this! it is amazing you know these things already. good for you for raising such well-rounded (future) men. the world needs more like that!

Becca Moss said...

LOVE this post! I can't wait to raise my son like this!

Kelly {Sparkles and Shoes} said...

Chivalry is not dead and I love this list!

xx
Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes

Susannah said...

These are so precious! I can't wait to have kiddos!!!! :-)

RoselyC said...

What a great post. I was recently talking to my son about dating (he is only 11) but it is something I want him to learn. I want him to be a gentleman and to know how to treat a lady. So its better to start at an early age, besides these are the years they actually listen to you, as teenagers it can get tougher to get the message through them.

helen said...

this is SUCH great stuff, ashley! i really love #2!!! it isn't taught as it was back then. i don't feel as fearful if i were to have a boy now :), thanks to you!

Annie L said...

I love this post, I want to save it for when I have kids. Southern or not, sounds like the perfect formula. And I love your outfit in the previous post.
xo Annie
newenglandromance.blogspot.com

Rebecca S. said...

Love this, girl! I love the idea of mother/son dates, what a great way to teach him to appreciate a woman. Beautiful :)

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

Very sweet! You will raise such perfect little southern gents :)

Jessica @ Here(and)Now said...

Great post! There was a family that my family was friends with growing up, and they were all boys. My sister & I went on many proms, group outings, cotillons with these boys & the boys' mom always wanted to shopping with us for our dresses to these events because she would never get to do it with daughters of her own, it was super fun!
xx
Here&Now

Ragan said...

haha teach him how to dance...I love it :) and oh so true! This is a great post.

Emmy said...

Great post! It really does matter just teaching the little things, the things that some consider "old fashioned" but really are just good old values and great things for boys (and girls) to know.

Mrs. Pedersen said...

I loved reading this!!

Michelle Nascimento said...

Really all mothers should teach their sons these things!

xo Michelle
misanthropycreation.com

lost in travels said...

i love this list. i think parenting can be hard in so many way but i think raising a good son is so so daunting to me. you want to make them into a man that will be a great husband and father. i love this list. i never thought that i would marry a southern man but who can resist them when they fall into so many of these categories?!

Katie said...

i love this!! and i especially the teach them how to dance one! :)

Stephanie Iris said...

Love this! Especially number 8!

Krista said...

I really loved this post Ashley! (and pinned it)

Having success with some of these but struggling with most :) Persistence right?!

Cortne said...

Brilliant. His wife will thank you one day. Such a great reminder for me as well. My boy is 15 and it's always good to brush up on these points you talked about.
Loved this post.
Cortne
cocoinmagnolia.com

Elsha said...

I really hope I have boys so I can whip them into shape like your babies:)

Adventur-Us said...

Jason still opens the door for me...the car door, the house door, church door, you name it!...and it gets me every time!

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