Monday, February 4, 2013

Life Lesson


Friday night was a rough one for me.  

I pulled a muscle in my back a few weeks ago, and can't seem to get it right.  I'll get it back to normal and then I'll either do something to tweak it while teaching dance, or I'll over work it during the day.  

Friday night I started feeling my back flare up, but ignored it, because I had to. (Noel was out of town and I had to get stuff done by myself.)  Anyways, long story short, I was in the worst pain of my entire life.  And yes, I've pushed 2 children out of me au natural.  (Epidural wore off before Charlie came, and didn't kick in fast enough for Walker.)  My back was in full spaz mode, I couldn't catch my breath, and I felt like I was going to be sick from the pain.  

I got out of bed, and literally crawled on my hands and knees to the kitchen to try to find some pain reliever.  When I realized that I couldn't get my body to stand up straight enough to reach the medicine, I laid on the kitchen floor and sobbed.  I prayed out loud that I would be able to reach the medicine, and that I would actually be able to swallow it.  (Fun fact:  I can't swallow pills.  And yes, they make liquid everything these days).  

I mustered up the energy to reach the medicine, took it (yay!), and got in the shower because that was the only place I didn't want to straight up die.

About twenty minutes later, I fell asleep.  

Ok, super long sob story about my weekend.  But here's what I'm taking away from it all.

1.  I need to start taking care of myself.  

Noel is out of town or working all the time.  (Not to make him the bad guy...I'm very proud that he works so hard for our family.)  But with that, I need to start taking time for myself more often.  I need to actually schedule those doctors' appointments (I hate the dentist), need to drink more water, and do all of the things I know I should be doing, but somehow don't have the "time" to do it.  I also don't need to allow other people to guilt trip me into doing anything that I don't feel is necessary.  

and

2.  I need to ask for HELP.

This one is the hardest for me.  I feel like I can handle it all by myself, but then realize (as I'm laying on my kitchen floor in excruciating pain) that I might need an extra hand every now and then to help out.  

I hesitated writing this post, because I didn't want to seem like I want sympathy.  That is absolutely not what I want. 

 I'm just hoping that when you read this, you will make it a point to take care of yourself, or ask someone for help even though you don't want to, or that you might reach out to someone and help them.

Happy Monday, everyone! :-)  It's going to be a GREAT week.  I just know it.
(Side note:  I have been to the doctor who said I pulled a muscle and to keep icing it.  So I actually did go to the doctor.  Pat on my back.)

58 comments :

Megan said...

Feel better soon!

Asking for help is the hardest! I guess it's a pride thing. When Lee was so sick, I never wanted to ask anyone to help us out.

Hailey said...

I am horrible at asking for help! (Although it doesnt help me practice when we have no family close!) I have become pretty good at saying no to things. It takes practice but I realized I can't say yes to everything.
I hope you find some relief for your back. I have neck problems and they are just getting worse.

Annie said...

Aw Ashley - hope you're doing better now! Sometimes it's hard to remember to take care of yourself, especially when you have 2 little ones...but it's SO important. And everyone needs a little help sometimes :)

Annie
The Other Side of Gray

Katie said...

ashley that sounds terrible!! I hope you are feeling better today! and I agree - you definitely need to take care of yourself and ask for help!

Aimee said...

Awhh.. I'm so glad you're recognizing when it is time to care for yourself. Your sweet boys need a healthy and peaceful mama! :)

Aimee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ChatterBlossom said...

Geez, I'm so sorry! I get lower back spasms like this! It is truly horrible. The doctor told me that my core wasn't strong enough so I'm supposed to build that up more. Unfortunately, I also struggle with taking care of myself until it is too late. I don't know why we do this, ignore the body until it is screaming at us. I hope you get more balance in your life soon and take some time for yourself! Good luck! :-)

In case you haven't entered, I'm holding a giveaway today if you would like to take a peek! ;-)
Jamie
ChatterBlossom

Rebecca S. said...

I hope you start feeling better soon! You definitely deserve time for yourself!!

Helene said...

oh no, I am so sorry Ashley. I know that you are doing the right things to start taking care of yourself.

Carlie said...

That sounds so painful! I hope it is feeling much better with the ice recommendation from your doc.

Those are two great pieces of advice! =)

Allyssa said...

I hope you're feeling better! Asking for help is always the hardest.

PS: I can barely swallow pills either. Sometimes it takes me a good 5 minutes just to swallow some Tylenol.

daisymay aka Chantele said...

Oh you poor thing, I suffered with a recuring back problem a few years ago, and it really can be the most god aweful pain ever! I really hope you get it properly sorted!!
Daisy Dayz Blog
Daily Craft Inspiration

Kayla Peveler said...

So glad you've realized you need to ask for help. Trust me, if we lived closer, I'd babysit those cute babies anytime!! :)

Glad you made it to the doc office, I know that can't be easy!
Love you girl and am SO thankful for you. Remember how special you are to so many people!

TheTinyHeart said...

We all need help once in a while and there's nothing wrong with asking for it! I hope your back starts feeling better soon :)

-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
Sephora Giveaway!

Sarah said...

That is such a bummer! I hope you are feeling better! As a mom, it is SO easy to neglect our own needs in favor of those of our family. But the fact is, I'm a much better mom (and wife) when I take care of myself. I get caught up in the go, go, go and realize that I haven't eaten well, done anything to decompress...or even taken a deep breath in an entire day. It is especially bad when Husband is out of town and I have to take over both roles. I can really relate. Take care!

Rebecca said...

Awww get well soon....& looking forward to seeing your outfits soon!!!

REBECCA
www.redtagchiclosangeles.com

Nicole | Pharr Away said...

I totally understand, Ashley! Mario works ALL the time as well (& I'm proud of that), so sometimes I feel like I shouldn't ask for help b/c I know how much he's doing. But, I have to remember that just like he gets a break from work, I also have to get a break from "work" (i.e. Maddie, housework, cooking, etc.). We (moms / wives) are always the last one on our own list to take care of which doesn't do anybody any good in the end. Lately, I've been telling myself that the better I take care of myself, the better I'll feel / be and the better I'll be able to take care of my family. It's definitely easier said than done though!

Renae at simple sequins said...

Oh Ashley! Not good. I feel for you so. Yes, take care of yourself and Yes ask for help. Oh, so sad. Yes, do pat yourself of the back, but don't twist it doing so....... hahaha. Keep smiling if you can, okay?

Tyne Swedish said...

2 great goals to work on and OMG I would have lectured the crap out of you! You are so lucky I don't know your skype info! I hate taking pills as well so I almost always take liquid pain killer when I need to and I too try to ignore problems I cannot fix (like my messed up back) but then again i do yoga for many reasons one of them being my back problems. You have to listen to your body dude. It will let you know whats what. And though many people hate going to the dentist and doctor it is your health and 2 very cute little guys need you healthy and strong. So while you hate the dentist think of how great of an example you are setting for them and providing them with a strong momma bear!

Chao
Poppie
http://thepoppie.com

carrieburke said...

I do the exact same! Whenever I'm sick or injured, I just ignore it because I feel that everything else is more important and needs to get done before seeking help. And then it gets to a serious point and I always think "Why didn't I just get help at the start of this?" One of my new years resolutions is to really start listening to my body and to put my health first!

Hope you feel better!

- Carrie

Carla said...

oh picturing you on the floor reminded me of having kidney stones while 7 months pregnant... no one should ever have pain like that! I hope your back heals quickly. Be sure to lay down and rest! And remember the errands and chores aren't as important as they seem...

Courtney said...

Back pain is the pits! I hope it gets better soon! Take good care of it =)

Alix said...

I hope it feels better soon! I think we all do this. I know I'm bad at both too. This is a great post thank you!

Emily said...

SO thankful everything worked out that night! Any back injury I've had from dance has been minor, but Lordy have they hurt. I hope you continue to feel better!

Krista said...

Please take care of yourself! You must listen to those break you down moments. Glad you went to the doc.

Asking for help is hard. A lot of time I feel like I SHOULD be able to handle it on my own and therefore won't ask. But none of us were meant to do things alone. We have to rely on each other. Since I can't really help you physically, I'll have to just pray that you have some people around to give you a hand,and of course that icing down your back does the trick!

Have a great week Ashley.

Kristen said...

I wish there way an easier way to learn lessons. But then I guess there wouldn't be a lesson to learn...here's to hoping that it only takes one time to learn it and what we learned NEVER leaves!!! Glad you are doing better :)

Caroline said...

Oh Ashley, I just want to go over there and give you a big hug and make you lay in bed for a week. Back pain is horrible - I had the most excruciating back pain of my life one summer three years ago and had to get on a plane and was crying, it hurt so bad. It's not something to let go on for a long time - I hope you got it checked out and the doctor gave you some meds/good advice to get through this! Feel better soon and I hope you do ask for help the next time you need it!!!

Tiffany said...

oh my goodness, totally had this realization this weekend about asking for help. Asking God for help through all my difficult moments is a hard thing for me, let alone asking for help from any person in my life. Sending blessings your way, and you are right....this is going to be a great week! :)

B said...

Good for you for discovering this and being so honest about your experience! hope you feel better soon!

Sam M said...

You should have written this post, I think a lot of moms forget to take care of themselves and most people have a hard time asking for help! my sister just hurt her back a few weeks ago and couldn't really walk for a couple of days. I saw the pain she was in and can't imgine you doing that with your two boys! I hope that you're able to go to a chiropractor or a physical therapist or something soon.

smk053078 said...

Oh no, you poor thing! I am so sorry that you were in that much pain!! I hope you are feeling better today! And yes, all of us moms need to take some time to actually take care of ourselves. I have been horrible lately...my diet, my routines, and not working out. It's so hard to find the time. I hope you get some much needed rest when Noel gets back. Love you!

fugeecat said...

I hope your feeling better. And yes, don't be afraid to ask for help. And I know what you mean about needing to take better care of myself. It's so hard to find the time to do all the things we are supposed to do.

http://heidiswanderings.blogspot.com/

Theresa said...

Ugh, what a rough weekend! I think a lot of us moms feel we can do it all. Asking for help is hard though. If there is one thing my husband yells at me about, it's trying to do it all myself.

"You are NOT Wonder Woman, stop trying to do it all" comes out of his mouth quite frequently lol.

Hope the pain in your neck subsides soon!

Sarah said...

Glad you are on the mend!

I am the same way...terrible about asking for help. I need to do a better job of it as well.

Jamie said...

Hope you feel better asap!

Milex said...

I love your fashion choices

Unknown said...

I hope things work for you, and that back pain stops soon so you can get back to... well living lol
God bless

onecurator.blogspot.com

helen said...

omgoodness, i really hope you're feeling better!!! i love how you are so positive and learned these little lessons. so important, and thank you for encouraging us to take care of ourselves. feel better, lovely lady!

Amy Shaughnessy said...

Good grief that is terrible! I'm sorry about your back. I hope you can get past the pain. And natural childbirth? You are a champion.

Amy
Fashion and Beauty Finds

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

So glad you did go to the doctor! I am the same way - I hate to go so this is a good reminder to me for sure. I hope your back heals quickly, friend! Also, side note... I totally hate swallowing pills. I used to gag trying to swallow vitamins. Imagine my joy when they made gummy versions for adults, haha!

Emmy said...

I can't swallow pills either!! Seriously not joking. I do this weird bread trick- which my husband swears must be harder but it works- so maybe it can work for you.

I wrap my pill in a small piece of bread very loosely and then carefully chew the bread around the pill and then swallow the whole thing -- if I am chewing something then I can swallow and it is fine and works for me. So yes it is the strangest thing ever but maybe it will work for you- it is how I take my multivitamin every night.

And yes girl take care of yourself. I understand the feeling of having a hard time asking for help but it is okay and sometimes really really necessary.

SH said...

I can't swallow pills either - you're not alone. Asking for help is never easy. Hope you feel better soon!

Sheree
thehartungs.blogspot.ca

Elsha said...

I will help you! Just fly me out there and I'll be your nanny slave for those cute boys for free :) And your hair is adorable

Lauren {at} Life.Love.Lauren said...

Agreed! I actually tweaked my back as well this weekend and if I didn't have my husband there to take care of me, I would have been in far worse shape today back at work. Help helps!

Megan said...

I agree! DH doesn't travel for work but he works long days (over 12 hrs every day) and he has his own health issues that I make sure are taken care of before my own. Which resulted in my knee surgery in December.

Megan said...

I agree! DH doesn't travel for work but he works long days (over 12 hrs every day) and he has his own health issues that I make sure are taken care of before my own. Which resulted in my knee surgery in December.

Megan said...

I agree! DH doesn't travel for work but he works long days (over 12 hrs every day) and he has his own health issues that I make sure are taken care of before my own. Which resulted in my knee surgery in December.

Megan said...

I agree! DH doesn't travel for work but he works long days (over 12 hrs every day) and he has his own health issues that I make sure are taken care of before my own. Which resulted in my knee surgery in December.

Head to Toe Chic said...

oh no!! i hope your back is feeling better!! I've definitely had back pain like that before after getting into a car accident and it's the absolute worst! Take care of yourself friend!

xo,
Angela

Priscila@mommode said...

Sure hope you are feeling better! I can only imagine the sheer panic you must've felt. Take good care of yourself mama! Hope this week goes much smoother for ya.

Kouponing Kayla said...

Bless your heart! I hope you feel better soon. <3 I have trouble swallowing pills too, so I feel your pain. :( Take care of yourself and I hope everything goes a lot smoother this week! :)

Brittany said...

I don't know how you do it...sometimes I practically count down the minutes until Jake gets home from work, and I grouch around when he has something to do after work in the evenings.

I think you're an awesome mama :)

Care said...

Take care of your self lady! I know what you mean about both of these things... asking for help is sometimes the hardest thing to do but we can learn so much through it! I do pray you stay healthy!

Jenny @ Spry On The Wall said...

I totally understand what you are saying! My husband has been travelling a lot lately too and I just don't sleep well when he's gone and it starts a chain reaction of just feeling like crap. I try to take some time during the day for me just so I don't get too stressed out by nighttime and the craziness that it brings with dinner/bath/bed. And I feel your pain about the back too, I have one that flares up every once in a while and it's so bad when it does.

Shelli Poole said...

I hope your back is feeling better! (or at least on it's way;) I have a hard time asking for help too. I'm so much of a do-it-myself-er. I love this cute pic of you... pretty hair! :)

Robin said...

Woah! I'm sorry you went through that ordeal. :(

rooth said...

I have been known to pull my neck while drying my hair and not be able to go to work because it's paralyzing pain - I hope you're feeling better. And you're so right about asking for help. I'm terrible about it as well

Julie said...

Glad you're feeling better now! That experience sounds like the absolute worst. Asking for help really is hard, but everyone needs to at some point!

www.jbound.com

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