Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Seriously, I'm Kidding


A book by Ellen Degeneres is just what I needed.  She is *seriously* a breath of fresh air.  To say this book is hilarious is an understatement.  Like I said before, I would literally throw my head back with laughter.  Here is an excerpt from my favorite chapter, "How to Be a Supermodel".....


"Here are some suggestions, as long as you are willing to be fierce.


One:  The Look
Always look like you're angry at the universe for making you too pretty.


Two:  The Walk
Trot.  Aggressively, like you're a horse that's trying to avoid puddles.


Three:  The Squint
Squint like someone is bouncing sunlight off their watch and directly into your eyes.


Four:  The Pout
Get those lips out there.  Purse your lips like you're tying to sip out of a straw that someone keeps moving away from you.


Five:  The Pose
Be mysterious.  Always pose with one hand in your pocket as if to say, 'I'm so mysterious, this hand in my pocket could be a hook hand.  You don't know.'


Six:  The Breeze
Carry a giant oscillating fan with you at all times.  No exceptions.


Now put it all together.  Trot! Quint! Get the straw! Who's a pretty girl?  You are.  Keep trotting!"


Hilarious, right?  If you need a good laugh (which we all do) read this book!!

Also, I'm in need of book suggestions.  I'll have a few hours to read on my way to and from NYC in a few weeks!  Any recommendations?


 

25 comments :

Taryn Rhodes said...

I love Ellen! she is hilarious!
a good one I read recently was Room by Emma Donoghue.
Its told from the perspective of 5 year old Jack a by and his.mother living captive. Its a little sad at times but I really couldnt put it down!
-Taryn

Catherine said...

This is on my "to read" list already. I'm totes in to reading celebrity bio's. I think you should ready her other half's book...Unbearable Lightness (Portia deRossi). It is eye-opening and makes you appreciate yourself. She is also hilarious. Also you'll want to watch Ally McBeal and Arrested Development afterwards.

Sarah Stright said...

Thank you so much for your comment on my guest post on Messy Dirty Hair :) And for taking the time to check out my blog, too! By the way, I keep wanting to read this book- I really need to go pick it up, I always hear that it's fantastic!
xo, Sarah

Mo (New on U) said...

I just read Tina Fey's book and Mindy Kaling's book, so it's only right that I now read Ellen's! Thanks for the recommendation - I love her!

Little Rosalie said...

Oh Ellen! I'll have to add this to my summer reading list!

Little Rosalie

littleprintscharming.blogspot.com

Hailey said...

Lately I have filled my brain with trash (i.e. Fifty Shades trilogy) so I had to take a break and read classics like The Great Gatsby and Pride and Prejudice. You will also love The Pioneer Woman Black Heels to Tractor Wheels. Such a great, easy read!!

Hailey said...

I forgot to add What Remains by Carole Radziwill is so great! It is an older book but one that I could read over and over again.

Brooklyn said...

So glad you left a comment! You have such an awesome blog - will be one of my "daily must reads!" And I luuurve Ellen and her sense of humor!

Samantha said...

I LOVE Ellen...she's hilarious. I don't think I've ever heard anything come out of her mouth that wasn't funny. I'll have to get this book!

I haven't read in so long...I couldn't suggest any books. I'm hoping when Bree goes to school in the Fall, I'll have a chance to read.

Whitney & Devin said...

Ellen just kills me! The entire time I was reading that I coudln't help but think "Victoria Beckham!"

melanie said...

just found your site via Bloggers East to East Google Map! Eat Coast Shout Out!!

smk053078 said...

I love Ellen!!! Her you tube video about 50 Shades of Grey was hysterical! Maybe we should take some of her pointers and put them all together for on of our outfit posts! How funny would that be?!
xo,
Shanna

tiff@thecoffeehouse said...

LOVE her. the giant oscillating fan got me good.

ms.composure said...

Stumbled onto your blog and just wanted to leave you a little blog luv! Def enjoyed this post!! New Follower via email :-)

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Emmy said...

That does sound hilarious and she is spot on!
Not sure of any suggestions at the moment

Lindsay said...

Oh my goodness, this cracked me up! I just might have to read this book! What kind of books are you interested in?

Hope you're having a good day my dear friend!

siddathornton said...

oh my gosh, this looks like it would be so funny - i laughed out loud reading the excerpt you shared. a few months ago, i read a book called 'the bride's house,' by sandra dallas, which i found extremely intriguing & a great read! i definitely recommend it.

- lauren

Kate @ Daffodils said...

I just finished Sarah's Key and thought it was very good, but my fave book of 2012 so far is the Perks of Being a Wallflower.

Jennifer H. said...

If you like non-fiction, I'm halfway through Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project." It's an insightful, easy read!

Alexa said...

Oh my gosh. I so need a good laugh! I have to check this out!

Alyx said...

Oh my gosh. I NEED this book!!!

LindseyC said...

I loooooove Ellen! And am in dire need of a good light book.... I think I will order it for when I arrive in the states! Thanks for posting this! :)

Shaylynn... I blahwg It's True. said...

Oh Ellen, how I love her.

She is my favorite kind of lunatic.

luvvleighb said...

Hahaha That is hilarious! She cracks me up!!!

Les said...

love your posts!
I recommend Mindy Kaling's book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me.
funny funny!

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