We pretend "the favorite child" doesn't exist, but we all know it does.
This is one of my concerns about having 2 children. I KNOW I will love Walker just as much as I love Charlie, but right now I'm borderline obsessed with Charlie (ok maybe all the way obsessed with him).
Parents say they don't have a favorite, but we all know they do.
Some parents only think it, but many parents actually SHOW that they have a favorite, whether they realize it or not. This goes for grandparents/grandchildren as well.
According to this article, it stinks to be the unfavored child AND the golden child. I think that's completely ridiculous. It's always better to be the favored child, right?!
I actually have to admit that I don't think my parents have a favorite. We all joke that it's James, but secretly we all think we're the favorite. I guess that's a good thing?!
With some families, however, it is super obvious who the favorite child is.
So what makes a "favorite/golden" child?
Is it the 1st child? Because you could never love another like you do the 1st? Hmm...not with some families.
Is it the child that "needs" you the most? Noel and I have talked about this before and relate it to the story of the Prodigal Son. It doesn't necessarily have to be a situation where the child is wayward, but sometimes parents favor the child who doesn't have other friends, or needs their help ALL the time, or is always around. The problem with parents favoring this child over a child who is more independent is that the more independent child will eventually start feeling less loved (obviously) and will start resenting the parent.
On the flip side of the previous statement, is the favorite child the one who has the most "accomplishments"?
I'm not really sure what constitutes the favorite child, but I do know that it is different with every family.
I was reading different articles on this subject, and found a comment by a reader that I really liked.
"I am a mother of three sons, all grown now. Looking back I realized that each of them had a much different personality than the other. After all, if they were all the same, life would be boring right?! However at different stages of their lives I did get that special twinkle in my eyes from one. But never one ALL the time. My oldest was a hyper child, my second a laid back boy, the third a goofy, funny boy. The oldest is a workaholic as an adult, the second a guy with strong opinions and convictions, while the youngest is a quiet, secretive, young man. Even now as adults, at different times one would bring a special twinkle in my eye, but never the same one. Therefore, no I don’t have a favorite child. I have favorite, selective times with each individual son."
I think that's a real, honest answer.
I am praying every night that I will be able to show my sons an equal amount of love.
I'm trying to think of what to do in order to make this a reality.
1. Spend individual time with each child.
2. Pray for each child individually, by name every night (in my personal prayers and with them so they can hear me say it)
3. That's all I have right now
I also know that many parents don't realize they are favoring one child over another. So, hopefully family members will keep me in check on this (which, I am a Walker, so I'm sure an honest opinion will not be hard to find). If you find me blogging or talking only about Charlie, give me a ring. If the only pictures I post are only of Walker, let me know!! :-)
I can't wait to have 2 baby boys, and I hope they know it!!!!!~